invisible

i think i should stop helping people.

it's one thing to be unappreciated, but hated? now this is not worth it.

to the ingrates, if you manage to stumble upon my blog. grow up. seriously. stop being so selfish and think about the other side of the fence. did you see the sacrifices? the effort? the patience? dammit, don't go around blaming me for your shortcomings if the terms of my influence weren't even clearly stated. oh and yeah, it would've helped if you guys just told me straight-up that you didn't want it that way. i SPECIFICALLY said i was open to whatever things you might want to say or add. SPECIFICALLY. nahihiya ba kayo nun? ok, i'll accept that pithy excuse. but nonetheless, it isn't my fault and thus you have no right to hate me. if anything i should hate you guys for not even bothering to have the common courtesy to inform me that i shouldn't [this word leaves a lot to be discussed] be around to help out anymore.

grow up. matatanda na kayo.

i know everything is done already but still finding this out from someone else is something else. vague for a reason. i'm over it. and i'm glad with what you produced. but get your feelings straight. kung magagalit kayo, dapat nasa tamang lugar kayo. and by the way, its sucks to have people lying to your face. i was perfectly polite, i deserve better.

and now the philo. it's annoying that i get burned for helping out [this covers a lot of other topics]. a harmless post becomes an argument? it really is amazing how differently people react to the things you do. each and every person is coming from a different place and time and influence. it really is a challenge to tailor your actions for favorable outcomes. a simple comment may be followed by an acknowledgement, or it can be blown out of proportion by a rancorous argument. life's crazy. everything around us is unique. i know that we generally remember only the shortcomings, as i am inclined to know ravaging this keyboard with pent-up angst. but dammit it really gets you down when you were good intentioned and then get burned. i really should shut up now. or shut up.

ftw.

it'd be nice to hear a real thank you from time to time, and a sorry from people who've hurt you.



OT
i screwed up my auditions! don't wanna talk about it. let's just leave it for another post, i'll do it in chinese.

another door opens.