Singapore Day 1

So much to say, so little time, literally. But right now, I am beside myself with happiness because I have finally found and bought myself the complete Enishi storyline in Manga... Oh and yeah, I HAVE A DEATHNOTE!!! LOL. Will update as soon as I find a cheaper place for internet usage.

Singapore Here I Come!

Ok, it's 11:46 and I have to wake up at 6:30 tomorrow.
I haven't:
1. written my histo paper
2. written my ad paper
3. packed
4. packed valuables
5. prepared my decks
6. found the camera battery
7. found my driver's license.
8. planned an itinerary.

Excited!

things are looking up, i know what to do

Things are looking up. Looking. Not going. Well get there soon.

What I have to do :
1. Piece together decks for the GP
2. Borrow stuff
3. Pack
4. Histo paper
5. SA galore
6. Talk to a guidance counselor
7. PR
8. Ad
9. move on

It is quite liberating: To know what you have to do. To gain back your confidence. To resolve issues. There are plenty more to go. But at least I have better direction.

I've had a lot of meaningful talks this weekend.

To life!

Smile Like You Mean It

Save some face, you know you've only got one
Change your ways while you're young

Yeah. There are a lot of things I need to improve about myself. I need to fix my name in several places.

Boy, one day you'll be a man

Hopefully, a man I can look up to.

Oh girl, he'll help you understand
Smile like you mean it
Smile like you mean it

It's time to be honest... But I'm not quite ready...

Looking back at sunsets on the Eastside
We lost track of the time
Dreams aren't what they used to be
Some things sat by so carelessly

Isn't high school a blur now? Aren't all of those good times a blur now? Looking back may bring back smiles but perhaps they can't be apt for today's jaded personalities...

Smile like you mean it
Smile like you mean it

We really should, we really should.

And someone is calling my name
From the back of the restaurant

There are always those from the past that tries to lay a claim on you. It is up to us to define what needs attention.

And someone is playing a game
In the house that I grew up in

Life is a cycle. But should I keep playing my games? What do I feel about people who are doing what I used to do? I should grow up. (more irony)

And someone will drive her around
Down the same streets that I did
On the same streets that I did

Yeah, no matter what, when people have been set free, they will be free. I have to free myself...

Smile like you mean it
Smile like you mean it
Smile like you mean it
Smile like you mean it

Oh no, oh no no no
Oh no, oh no no no

LOLz.... So emo :D

Thinking about dropping ECO...

Answers

I dropped by SJCS today to watch the Passion Play. As per my reputation, I am expected to criticize it. No, not critique, criticize. Honestly, I don't give a damn. It is not my place nor does my opinion matter to those high school students who did their work the best that they could. (At least we all hope so) In the end, people will believe what they want to believe. It is funny how my words to a friend are now back to haunt me. No. I am not bitching, I am not criticizing either. Their production isn't the reason why I am blogging. Though I must say, I am quite impressed with a lot of aspects of the Passion Play. On a side note, the paranoid in me thinks that there were quite a number of allusions to me there...

The part that struck me the most was curtain call. After it anyway. I think I've realized why I've been so bitter with myself. I've realized why I keep coming back to that building that I keep cursing. Everything boils down to one thing: recognition. I've always gone for recognition. Now, if my sister would read this she'd probably think God has already sent lightning bolts after my lying mouth. But this is true. I have gone all Hitler by blaming others for my shortcomings. I need to own up to myself. (OH THE IRONY!) But this is still not the case.

Back to recognition. My twisted motivation blinded me from the most important thing. Happiness. There was a twinkle in the eyes of those Seniors when they were posing. There was genuine happiness there. And one particular girl was specially radiant, unseeming in her role. Who I've probably ruined my chances for anyway... But lessons learned. I hope. In a perfect world, we do whatever that makes us happy. We all know the world isn't perfect, but its our damn duty to make ours is the most spectacular and perfect world to live in.

So I thank, albeit silently, the Seniors for their blithe and honest expressions. It has taught me a lot. And I will struggle to enjoy the things that I am doing, even though I am constantly encouraged to always quantify my experiences.

In all honesty, I always wanted to go back to the auditorium and deliver a monologue. I would stand in the center of the stage and face the wall and begin.

I hate you. And everything you represent. It was funny wasn't it? To delude a young man into thinking that he belonged in your alcove. I guess, in the long run, you've enjoyed your laughter at his every appearance...at his expense. To poison such possibilities, quite entertaining, just as your displays. But still you go so far as to deprive him your whole embrace. Always teasing, always tempting. To perform, such is a dream. Your offerings to much an impressionable mind. Curse you and curse my stupidity! Curse the illusion that you bring! So much could have been different, better, brighter if not for your tantalizing visions! And now perhaps this man has grown, ruined, thinking that he could. He has sacrificed. He has glorified himself and extolled you. Only to be shot down by reality. Brilliant. As... Arsenic. All the world is a stage right? Perhaps, my role was a figurehead.

I end. Sane. Sober. And happy. So long SJCS. You've given me much to hate, but the past is the past. Things only get better and harder from here. Don't expect me to write. Goodbye.

Updates

Life's going on I guess.

Show's over. It went well. I don't really have the right to say I did a good job as there was something that I could've gone over to make the show better. I lack discipline, drive, responsibility. These things I will labor to inculcate in my life. I owe so much to the people who have helped me...

Nonetheless, the shows were really fun. Pictures to be uploaded in Multiply one of these days.

School stuff is starting to pile up again. I'm really really pissed at how my groupmate is so useless. Seriously. Work is piling up... Hay...

*

Music and Lyrics

So yeah, Drew Barrymore and Hugh Grant. The movie is rather plainly laid out. A very simple story, with a very predictable ending, with highly improbable scenarios. There is no critical thinking, just funny moments, witty lines and the charm of the actors to carry the movie. Meh...

The Holiday

Now we're talking! Maraming kilig moments :D The movie lends its concept of love to the viewers. It, through various directional techniques, makes the viewers feel the scene. There is briliance with every location, angle, and word in the movie.

The actors were very well casted. It really is amazing how the story can put in various themes of spontaneity and empowerment! There were so many heart rending scenes as well as the viewers see their lives progress. It is rather improbable that those two children both have cellular phones at their age! Wala lang. But still it is amazing to watch those two women who decide to swap homes and in the end earn new lives. Maybe that is how life is? We must regularly have catharses to realize what we need. Going outside of our spheres of influence will lead us to new experiences and opportunities.

There is a lot more I want to say but I don't have much time, the new episode of Lost is waiting :D Just watch the movie! With a special someone preferably. Kilig moments talaga!

*

These days, I find myself thinking more and more about you. I wonder if I am in for something serious...

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