Thursday, February 21, 2008

Guidelines for Harmonious Living on the LRT

1. Put your goddamn earphones/ headset on.

This isn't your train. It's PUBLIC transportation, and not everyone appreciates your music.

-If your gadgets forgot their respective partners for the day, then don't listen to your shit at all; or put your PSP, DS, or GBA on mute.

-Now some of you may have put on their earphones, thanks. What you may not have realized is that you've got your music way too loudly that people ACROSS you can hear. You've taken a step in respecting other people, just take the next one. Control your volume.

speaking of which...

2. Control your volume

I'd be a hypocrite if I said that I'm never noisy on the train. As you know, I'm quite the chatterbox, and when riding the LRT with people I know intimately, I become rather animated with my discussions. So... Er... hm... This is something I'll have to work on.

-Anyway, when answering phones, don't talk too loudly especially since everyone's clumped together, you know people beside you! It's annoying to have to hear about how your day was or where to pick up so and so. And when the bitterness strikes, normal phrases like "I wuv u" and "Hey boo" become seriously incensing.

-People who stay together, play together. Keep the touching and volume in check :p Otherwise have a kinky, kinky time... on the LRT... Ew...

3. If the escalators are big enough for two people, stay on one side.

-If you aren't in a hurry, other people are. No one's forcing you to go as fast as them, just give way.

-Paper due in half an hour? Meeting in twenty? Class in fifteen?!

Hear the train coming as you insert your ticket in the machine? Running up the escalator to meet it? Get into the train! Stop because some people just stay on the escalator then LEISURELY stroll into the opened doors which close just as you arrive at the platform? There we go.

4. Give your seat up for senior citizens.

-I mean seriously. Either they can't stand for extended periods of time and you'd have to be heartless to watch them suffer or that "oldie" will launch a tirade about how times have changed and how morals have gone up someone's ass. Oh and the youth are hopeless too and the hard work they put in at building a nation wasn't worth it. Whatever happens, you will lose. Give them the seat, it isn't worth the verbal harassment and the shame.

-I didn't mention giving up seats to women as a rule because times have changed. It's relative to each person how he/she views women's privileges. Personally, I do give up my seat most of the time but some people believe that men and women must be treated equally, so if that lady missed a seat, sucks to be her... Right?

-"Be a man. Do the right thing." Oh Russell Peters, this will never die.

5. Give way to people exiting from the trains.

-Seriously. Don't be a dick and move in when the door opens, not only does that piss everyone leaving off, but you give them an excuse to shove you right back out. Imagine bouncer-like people, shoving you back.

-Enter when there's actually an opening.

6. Don't screw with the doors.

-Don't force them open if they're closing already and you're just coming in. It may wreck the train or whatever, and on the off chance that shit happens and the train is delayed, everyone will hate you. EVERYONE on the train. That's a lot of people who will want a piece of you when they find out all their schedules have to be moved because some idiot couldn't wait another 5 or so minutes.

7. In crowded trains or times, take whatever vacant spot there is so there is more room for other people.

The first time I had to take the LRT1, no one told me this. We were a group of students just hanging around at a spot near the entrance. There was a huge space at our side, which was just recently vacated. But we didn't move. We just kept chatting about until we reached Pedro Gil. When we finally left the people who were clumped near the door complained loudly about our thoughtlessness. Now seriously they should have asked us to move a bit but either way that's that.

8. Don't push.

-It's a reality that people push to get their way. Have you seen the MRT or LRT1 on rush hour? The nightmare! Just say "excuse me" first, it's decency.

Rejected Guideline
*Learn a martial art, or carry pepper spray, or at the least learn how to tie really good knots (and bring some rope too.)

-The next time someone gropes you on the train, don't get mad. Tell the person, "short time tayo," after all there are a lot of motels in key LRT stops, you gotta hand it to that popular brand of motels, they're running a good business! The horny bastard will probably be all gung ho and pick up the bill. When you get to your room, teach them a lesson they'll never forget. You can beat the crap out of them or just tie them up and leave them there until the cleaning lady comes in. Kinky.

1 comment:

Wildcard07 said...

This entry got me laughing to the end, hahaha. And though I don't board the trains frequently I could somehow relate to the guideline...hahaha.