Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Independent Days

Living Alone

Ok, it’s my second night alone in Mau’s pad. I must say living alone is quite enjoyable. I’m cooking my own food; stuffing my laundry somewhere-I-can’t-smell-them-until-I-start-to-and-then-I’ll pop-them-in-the-cleaners. Not bad. I’m back to prepaid for a few days, and for some reason I can’t log into my YM account. I still have so much to do… I need sleep. RegCom stuff again tomorrow. Cooking really eats up a lot of my time, not to mention washing the dishes and pots.

Argh. I have to finish this typing job! And why the hell do I keep forgetting to buy toilet paper?!?!?!

Stealing Candy from a Baby

The world is a big, scary place. People aren’t who they seem to be, whether they intend to or not. Not everyone sees the world as you do. As surely as you say one thing is the truth, the next person is also as sure to say another thing is the truth. Truth, is opined. The world is subjective, one’s ethics doesn’t reflect the other. Trust is a very tough issue. How can a person entrust something to someone? How can someone put himself/herself out there?

So what is left?

Bawal Umihi Dito.

(Yes my fellow Ateneans, I‘m waaaaaaay behind on the reflection paper, but it just came to me.)

People create spaces where they are in control, where they rule. These places are so special because in our world today, each person is assigned tasks. There are roles that each person plays, and every time he/she fulfills the duties those roles entail, he/she answers to someone higher up.

After all the stress, it is easy to see why people need to lay claim to objects, or spaces, or traits. “Mine” is empowerment. “Mine” is triumph over authority. “Mine” is possession. And when these personal spaces are usurped, one loses his/her hold on himself/herself. And the usurper, willingly or unwillingly, takes away something special from a person and gains something that may or may not be special to him. The scales may be balanced but the objects on the scale aren’t the same. For example, a person may mean lust to another or companionship to another person. And the objects (for lack of a better term) taken define themselves differently as well. Life is an amalgam of definitions and subtexts. Living in our day and age takes a certain cognitive intuition. Sounds strange doesn’t it, because I‘m pretty sure I‘m using a wrong term but forgive me, it‘s 12:50 in the morning…? But think about it, an average person goes out, throughout the day he/she will meet a lot of people. This includes the passers-by, policemen, waiters, not only one’s co-workers or fellow students. What makes you trust these people. Of course they aren’t going to randomly take out a knife and stab you to death (but you never know lol…) but the thing is, how do you know what thoughts each person you run into entertain? How many people are megalomaniacs? How many people feel like they ought to kill someone? How many people feel that they can trust you? With your cognitive intuition, you try hard to assess that person and see if you can let that person into your life.

Experience is the best teacher, that is how we can sharpen our ability to tell apart who to trust and who not to trust. Because eventually, you will let someone into your heart, and they will break it. And I’m not just speaking in the romantic sense, or love in all it’s baggage for that matter. All we can do is pick up the pieces and make sure these things don’t happen again.

But hey theoretically you are bound to run into people who you connect with. These are the people whom you read about in all those inspirational texts. These are your real friends. You know like having one real friend is a fortunate thing and all that. Not “best,” “real.” There’s a difference because with real friends, trust becomes easy, love becomes a familiarity. These are the people who will willingly sacrifice themselves to help each other without a quid pro quo subtext. These are the people who will share their lives with you. These are the people who will be beside you as you live and die. And of course, you will reciprocate that trust and do as much as you can for those friends.

Hm…I’ll stop now, I think I have to start pissing.


Well I’ve got a couple of stuff to watch here for when I get bored, which I often do but for some reason never really get a fair amount of time to practice.

Cyrano de Bergerac (Woot got subs!)
Lady in the Water (It wouldn‘t play in the DVD player…)
Y Tu Mama Tambien (heehee…)
City of God (I know I‘m way behind)
Darker Than Black (Saw the first episode and it seemed kinda meh but I’ve downloaded up until episode 7. We’ll see if it is worth continuing.)
A Clockwork Orange (Seeing Sai in The Wedding Singer show reminded me that I have yet to watch it and return it to her.)

And up next in the download spree
History Boys
Spammalot Bootleg
Wicked Bootleg
Some more librettos :D

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